26. august 2023
A deeper source of happiness
Our search for happiness begins from our very first breath. A child, right from birth, has an innate "pre-installed hardware" that causes their mind to fluctuate between joys and sorrows. Our needs and desires seem to double with each passing hour. These processes continue to evolve into more complex forms as we age.
Since humans developed the ability to reflect, some have wondered if there is a deeper source of happiness, independent of the "chase" for pleasure. Is there a happiness that does not depend on good food, the presence of friends and loved ones, amusing TV-series or a good book? Can one be happy before pleasure occurs, in spite of physical pain, old age, illness, and death? Most live as if the answer is "no". However, I suspect the answer might be "yes".
The Endless Chase for Pleasures
We are constantly bombarded by the media and social media with pictures and ideas of who we should be and how we are supposed to act. We are presented with models that supposedly epitomize success, money, fame, and glamor. However, never before have people been so displeased with themselves. The portrayal by the media and social media doesn't bring happiness, even if we ever achieve it. Instead, we find ourselves wanting more and more, spiraling out of control. This relentless pursuit, fueled by the incessant barrage of idealized images and narratives, creates an endless cycle of desire and discontent. The gap between reality and the polished, often unattainable standards set by the media widens, leaving individuals feeling inadequate and perpetually unsatisfied.
And even if you don't care about the ideals set by the media, we chase after pleasant tastes, physical sensations, thoughts, emotions, and states of mind. We satisfy our intellectual curiosity, surround ourselves with friends and loved ones, and cultivate arts, music, food, and wine. These are excellent activities – so continue to enjoy them. But they are not a lasting source of happiness, not even for those fortunate to be born into favorable circumstances and caring families. The pursuit of pleasant experiences and efforts to keep discomfort at bay persist. Both happiness and unhappiness can occur unexpectedly, in all sorts of forms. I've recently experienced this with a brain tumor and uncertain prognosis.
what should one be more mindful of?
Mindful use of attention is a method many have learned to cultivate presence and inner happiness in the midst of life's ups and downs. Meditation and mindfulness are other terms for this mindful use attention. Some discover that the buttons for happiness and pleasure are always on in the normal state of the mind, as long as one observes carefully and does not get swept away by the storm of thoughts, emotions, and concepts. They find an ever-present inner happiness, a mental balance that is not due to special experiences or reasons. Experiencing life's small moments with such a mindset is worth the effort for many.
So, what should one be more mindful of? There are many answers in both Eastern and Western spiritual traditions. For me, it makes sense to focus on three elements:
1. Attention to the Body: Being aware of the body and its movements, such as observing the breath, feeling physical contact with the surroundings, or being mindful of the body’s sensations during various activities.
2. Attention to Feelings and Mind: Observing the mind and emotions, whether they are pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. This involves acknowledging and being present in feelings and thoughts without judging or instinctively reacting. It’s about creating a mental space to observe mental processes without getting involved or trapped.
3.Attention to Objects of the Mind: Observing objects in the mind, like the five senses – sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch – as well as other mental states such as self-awareness, will, and attention.
Mindfulness are an active state
A common misconception is that meditation and mindfulness are passive states - like relaxing. On the contrary, they involve active concentration and the use of attention to focus on the experience. What distinguishes mindfulness from staring out of a car window, is the mode of focus. Mindfulness is about being actively present in the experience in an undisturbed, accepting, and uninvolved manner. This enhances good experiences and makes the bad ones shorter and less significant. Mindfulness is not about thinking clearer about the stream of experiences; it's about experiencing more clearly and acceptingly, and being curious, without chasing after the pleasant or avoiding the unpleasant.
To achieve the meditative state, one directs attention toward the experience with the right mode. With a bit of practice, you will soon discover a vast untapped potential: to experience pleasant feelings more intensely and to be more resilient in facing life’s challenges.