Silent Retreat

How good is it possible to feel?

I wanted to explore my potential to be at full peace with myself. How good is it really possible to feel? To what extent can one handle the challenges that inevitably arise during a fragile human life with balance and closeness? How much compassion can one genuinely show towards others and oneself? And is it possible to explore and develop these aspects of oneself while remaining an ordinary guy who enjoys watching soccer (PL), drink beer with friends, and goes on vacation with my girlfriend and family? I have found  that answer  is yes. 

We meditated for about 10 hours each day, from 04:30 in the morning until 21:30 in the evening, only interrupted by meal breaks and breaks on the stairs. The 10 hours each day consisted for the first 3 days  of focusing on the breath. From there on the hours primarily consisted of focused concentration and scanning of the body from top to bottom, using only our attention. There wasn't always something to find, but if there was, one was to be present in  it in a non-judgmental and accepting way. One should neither chase positive sensations nor try to avoid negative ones.
 

I had many interesting experiences: A couple of times, all boundaries between me and the world around me disappeared; the bird chirping outside the window was no more or less "me" than my thoughts and feelings. Once, a fly landed on my cheek, but it felt like a dragon. That's how intense sensations became with a whole ne level of attention available. On day 7 of the retreat, I became so concentrated and present and in tune with my body that I could actually feel most av my internal organs from a subjective perspective. On the last two days of my retreat, I began to feeling the electrical signals moving through my body. I know it sounds sci-fi and hard to believe, but it's entirely true, at least as a subjective feeling of it.

I did not complete the  retreat. Maybe it was the cult-like tendencies or the fact that it was overall a non-secular retreat (despite them telling us over and over how secular it was).  I was not given sufficient food or sleep, and felt in danger of being brainwashed. Anyway, if I'm going again,, I would consider a retreat at Spirit Rock or a Dzogchen Retreat. 

Rigorous schedule and strict code of discipline

The daily schedule of a Goenka silent retreat is rigorous and structured to maintain an environment conducive to meditation and self-reflection. While specific times may vary slightly from one center to another, a typical day might look like this:
 

- 4:00 AM: Morning wake-up bell

- 4:30-6:30 AM: Meditation in the hall or in your own room

- 6:30-8:00 AM: Breakfast break

- 8:00-9:00 AM: Group meditation in the hall

- 9:00-11:00 AM: Meditate in the hall or your own room according to                              the teacher's instructions

- 11:00 AM-12:00 Noon: Lunch break

- 12:00-1:00 PM: Rest and potential questions  for the teacher (1-on-                                1’s)

- 1:00-2:30 PM: Meditate in the hall or your own room

- 2:30-3:30 PM: Group meditation in the hall

- 3:30-5:00 PM: Meditate in the hall or your own room according to                              the teacher's instructions

- 5:00-6:00 PM: Tea break

- 6:00-7:00 PM: Group meditation in the hall

- 7:00-8:15 PM: Teacher's Discourse in the hall (movie)

- 8:15-9:30 PM: Group meditation in the hall

- 9:30 PM: Retire to your own rooms—lights out

Participants were required to adhere to a strict code of discipline throughout the retreat. Key guidelines /rules included:
 

• Noble Silence: Silence was to be observed for the duration of the retreat, i.e. no communication (verbal or non-verbal) with fellow participants, including gestures, eye contact,  sign language, or written notes.

• Segregation: Men and women were segregated, reportedly to minimize distractions.

• No Electronics: Participants were asked to surrender phones, laptops, and other electronic devices upon arrival.

• Adherence to the Schedule: Participants had commit to follow the daily schedule strictly

• No Reading or Writing: participants were not allowed to read or write during the retreat

• Moral Code: Participants were to abstain from killing any being, stealing, sexual activity, speaking falsely, and using intoxicants. So I quit “snus” beforehand.
   

The primary purpose of a Goenka silent retreat is to provide a practical method for self-purification by self-observation. It aims to help individuals face the realities of their own nature by observing the bodily sensations, understanding their impermanence, and developing insight into the nature of suffering. The technique is designed to develop moral discipline, concentration, and wisdom, the three essential steps to achieving liberation according to the Buddha's teaching. The retreat was offered on a donation basis.

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